Why being 'too picky' is a myth.

(To some extent)

My whole life I have only ever seen a healthy relationship demonstrated to me by my parents. Their marriage isn't perfect, don't get me wrong but I don't think anyones is. They wind each other up and sometimes my dad takes it too far. You'd think after nearly 22 years he would've learnt by now, but he still doesn't know when enough is enough and how many jabs he can throw at my mum before she loses it (its not many.)

However, throughout my childhood they were the model relationship for me and I'm so fortunate to have had that. Their bond showed me what love was and I've carried that ideal throughout childhood and into my adult years and my relationships.

I have set my standards high because I knew what I wanted and refused to settle for less. My mum didn't settle, so I knew it could be done and I wanted that as well. So why when people are having trouble with love do we tell them they're being too picky or they need to lower their standards? Why should anyone drop their expectations to accommodate a relationship? In my opinion, all that leads to is resentment and an unhappiness for both parties.

Now, I do think that there's a caveat to this theory. If you find a man, for example, who ticks all your boxes, is funny, caring, handsome, driven, but is only 6 ft 0 and not 6 ft 2 and that's a game changer for you, then maybe its time to reconsider your priorities.

My ideal man was 6 ft 3, athletic, dark hair, funny and absolutely adored me. After nearly 7 years of bothering the same curly haired boy, I have all of that but in 5ft 11 form, and you know what? Despite the odd joke now and again, it has never been an issue and has never affected my feelings towards him.

The things I prioritised the most in my relationship, mutual respect, communication, a solid sense of humour and a loving bond are what mattered most above all and I made sure that I was picky with that.

It's not always immediate, but lay out your expectations and give yourself and your partner opportunity to meet them. I am completely fulfilled in my relationship and its easy. Yes, we bicker over silly things sometimes but we communicate our issues and resolve them. I don't find it hard to be around him ever and when we're together it feels like home. I found my person, and by communicating my wants and needs we've built a bond I believe will last a lifetime.

So don't lower your expectations of a partner just to fit into a mould. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone and if you know what you want and more importantly what you deserve then you will find it. Never settle.